Staff ReportsJamie K. Wilson’s column in PJ Media this week pokes at a cultural sore spot: ordinary teenagers who aren’t into romance or sex are being handed a neat label — “aroace” — and told it is now an identity. It’s a short, sharp complaint with a clear target: the speed and ease with which social media and identity culture turn normal growing-up moments into fixed categories. Parents should pay attention, because this argument lands on real trends and real data even as it raises real questions about how we raise kids today.
What the column is arguing
Wilson recounts a simple moment: her daughter used the term “aroace” to explain why online flirting and porn felt off-putting. The column’s point is straightforward. For decades kids moved through phases where friends mattered more than crushes, and curiosity about sex often came later. Now, when a thoughtful teen says “that’s not for me,” they are quickly nudged toward a label, a flag, and an online community. The author worries that ordinary adolescent development is being rebranded as a permanent identity.
What the data actually shows
This is not only an opinion echo chamber. Surveys and studies show more young people are using asexual and aromantic labels. The Human Rights Campaign’s 2025 survey found about 4.7% of respondents included “asexual” in their identity, and peer-reviewed research found roughly 4.5% of LGBQA+ adolescents identified as asexual in a national sample. At the same time, national public-health tracking shows teens are, on average, less sexually active than past generations. Social platforms — TikTok, Snapchat and the like — amplify identity language fast, so a phrase can go from niche to mainstream in weeks.
Why parents should care — and what to do about it
There are two sides here. Labels and online communities can offer support to young people who genuinely feel different and need connection. But labels can also freeze a normal, flexible stage of development into a fixed story. That can become a shield, stopping a teen from exploring, changing, or simply growing without drama. Parents should talk more and panic less: ask open questions, listen, and resist the urge to treat TikTok shorthand as a final diagnosis. Encourage real-life friendships and curiosity, not just identity badges and flags.
Conclusion: favor nuance over instant tagging
Wilson’s column is a useful provocation. Yes, some teens will find the “ace” or “aro” label liberating and truthful. Yes, researchers measure a real uptick in visibility. But we should not confuse rapid online naming with settled human biology or lifelong fate. The better response is a modest one: slow down, talk more with kids, and keep identity in the realm of exploration rather than branding. Let teenagers be teenagers — not walking mission statements curated by an app.
