Hunter Biden’s Tax Evasion Fail: 8 Motions, 0 Wins

In a recent legal showdown, Hunter Biden tried to get himself out of some hot water, but alas, his efforts fell flat on their face. With his lawyer Abbe Lowell by his side, Biden attempted to have the tax charges against him dismissed in a California court. Talk about a swing and a miss! The legal team threw eight different motions at the judge, hoping one would stick like spaghetti on the wall. Spoiler alert: none did!

Now, let’s break it down, conservative style. Firstly, Biden thought he was immune from prosecution because of some agreement from back in July 2023. Nice try, buddy! The judge wasn’t buying it and shut that argument down faster than a bakery running out of muffins on a Saturday morning. And here’s the cherry on top – Biden’s claim that Special Counsel David Weiss was unlawfully appointed got shot down quicker than a pigeon on a statue.

But wait, there’s more! Biden tried to play the victim card, saying he was being selectively and vindictively prosecuted. Sorry, not sorry, Hunter. The judge basically said, “Nice conspiracy theories, bro, but where’s the proof?” It’s like trying to argue that aliens built the pyramids without any pictures or blueprints to back it up. Lastly, Biden cried foul over due process violations, claiming outrageous government conduct. But once again, the judge was unimpressed, delivering the legal equivalent of a mic drop.

So, what’s the verdict? Hunter Biden’s tax woes are far from over. The case will move forward, and he better start dusting off his legal defense because it looks like things are about to get real interesting for ol’ Hunter. Maybe he should stick to painting and leave the tax stuff to the professionals. Just a thought from a friendly neighborhood conservative writer!

Written by Staff Reports

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