Staff Reports
Only in Biden’s America does a birthday party lead to weed killer Mountain Dew. Michelle Peters, from Lebanon, Missouri, thought her husband wasn’t grateful enough for his birthday bash, so in true liberal fashion, she went nuclear by spiking his soda with Roundup. Now she’s behind bars facing serious charges, which should give the left something to think about while they hug their man-buns.
Western Journal: Woman Accused of Secretly Adding Dangerous Chemical to Husband's Drink Over Birthday Party Reaction https://t.co/ksu7bsGn01
— Ian Hansen 🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@IanHansenFeed) June 30, 2024
Reports confirm Michelle is locked up without bond for first-degree domestic assault and armed criminal action. The police say her grand plan started after her husband noticed his garage-stored Diet Mountain Dew tasted funky starting May 1st. Instead of investigating, he initially wrote it off. A couple of weeks later, however, he experienced a delightful cocktail of a sore throat, nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting—hardly a birthday encore.
This suspicious case took a turn once he checked security cameras. There she was, trusty Roundup in hand, taking the soda inside and coming back minutes later. Classic undercover work, right? He confronted Michelle, who dismissed it as COVID and suggested he stay away from the grandkids. Ah yes, blame the new normal for old-fashioned poisoning.
Further digging revealed Michelle had multiple potential motives. Between a rumored affair, a substantial $500,000 life insurance policy, and dodgy transactions from their business account to their personal one, it’s clear this case isn’t just about party appreciation. Michelle admitted concocting her sinister brew, allegedly inspired by Pinterest—because nothing says “great relationship” like DIY poison.
Ultimately, police found several Roundup-laced Mountain Dews in the fridge, and Michelle reportedly commented she should’ve just filed for divorce. Peters claimed she was just trying to be “mean,” which summarizes the deteriorating state of marriage under the left’s influence. Future court proceedings promise more revelations, but for now, it looks like Michelle’s appreciation party idea was a toxic flop.
