Staff Reports
President Biden recently decided to deliver what he claimed would be his “final address” to the United Nations General Assembly, sticking a cherry on top of his lengthy career in politics. One would think he’d use this moment to acknowledge the mess he’s made on the world stage, but instead, he opted for an optimistic spin worthy of a cheerleader at a losing team’s game. The president managed to cite crises from the Cold War to Vietnam, reminiscent of a grandpa reminiscing about “the good old days”—while the audience mentally checks their watches and wonders if the dessert is any good.
Biden shared his long-standing belief that the world would somehow find its way through the current turmoil, as though optimism itself could stop Hamas from launching rockets or prevent Hezbollah from stirring the pot. Americans might wonder if Uncle Joe’s nostalgia could actually pay the bills or prevent further bloodshed, especially since his administration has been in a never-ending tango trying to find a ceasefire in the Middle East. While the president gazes at the past for inspiration, Americans are left wondering if his backup plan includes fortune cookies.
"Now is the time for the party to finalise its terms," President Joe Biden urged in final speech to the United Nations, calling for peace in the Middle East and stating that "full-scale war isn't in anyone's interest."https://t.co/PAiZ4D1jU3
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview… pic.twitter.com/sYcyMw63Up
— Sky News (@SkyNews) September 24, 2024
As for the ongoing clashes between Israel and Hamas, Biden doubled down on his support for a two-state solution, a surefire way to get everyone’s eyebrows raised. He expressed compassion for both Israelis and Palestinians, a delicate balancing act that has all the grace of a bull in a china shop. As the situation escalated and more countries got involved, his assurances about diplomatic solutions sounded like a dated infomercial—call now for peace. You might get a side of reality with it.
In addition to the Middle East, Biden reaffirmed his quadrennial support for Ukraine, promising not to “grow weary” or “look away.” One can’t help but notice the sheer familiarity of these platitudes—claims about unwavering American assistance seem to flow as freely as the taxpayer dollars without any sign of long-term strategy. It’s almost as if one is watching an endless rerun of a sitcom that lost its charm years ago.
Meanwhile, the backdrop to this optimistic display is a world that appears to be spiraling out of control. Chaos reigns in the Middle East, war continues to rage in Ukraine, and China is becoming the kind of global player that makes you wonder if you should be watching your six. As Biden strutted his stuff on the world stage, the impending U.S. election loomed just weeks away, providing a delicious irony to his speech – one crafted not just to convince world leaders but also to dodge blame as he hands the baton to Kamala Harris or faces off against Donald Trump.
In a moment of political theater, Biden acknowledged his decision to step away from the 2024 presidential race, making it sound less like a retreat and more like a selfless act of heroism cloaked in the vague notion of “new generation leadership.” His announcement lacked any real substance, as he offered up the quaint idea that serving is better than staying in power—very noble, coming from the 80-year-old whose idea of renewal includes a brand-new bingo card of crises. While he may be hoping to leave a legacy, the only real takeaway for conservatives echoes through every room: “Didn’t we try this already?”
In the midst of these escapades, Biden is also holding a summit on synthetic drug threats, an endeavor received with skepticism by Republicans who are quick to assert that he has failed to control the flow of fentanyl across the southern border. It’s an opportunity for Biden to showcase his commitment, but one can’t help but question whether this summit is just another page in the manual titled “How to Look Busy While Doing Nothing.” Whether he can turn the tide on this issue remains to be seen, but one has to wonder: can optimism actually stop a flood of drugs, or is it just a pleasant distraction?
