Staff Reports
In another episode of “Joe Biden Says Weird Stuff,” the President is currently meandering around Michigan like a lost puppy. Seriously, can this guy just be normal for once? It’s Thursday, February 1st, and it seems like Biden is channeling his inner Houdini and trying to escape from the nursing home.
Now, I’m no expert on senility, but I’ve noticed a pattern with old Joe. He just keeps repeating the same nonsensical lines over and over again. How many times have we heard him go on about deer in Kevlar vests? Or claim that his son died in Iraq when we all know it was Afghanistan? And what’s up with the story about the Amtrak conductor who apparently retired in 1993? Maybe someone needs to check the expiration date on Biden’s memories.
BIDEN: "I know I'm the most pro-union…you know…anyway" pic.twitter.com/Xc1PS6UZDH
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) February 1, 2024
But wait, there’s more! In a recent public appearance, Biden randomly shouted, “Don’t jump!” at a group of people seated in a booth. I mean, seriously, who does that? Does he think they’re going to suddenly turn into daredevils and attempt a death-defying leap from the table? And making jokes about suicide? Classy move, Mr. President.
And let’s not forget about his “Forrest Gump syndrome.” Biden loves to place himself at the center of every situation, no matter how absurd. One day he’ll claim he grew up attending a black church and helped spark the Civil Rights movement. The next day, he’ll say he went to synagogue. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tells us he was a truck driver and a football star in his spare time. It’s all just a bunch of tall tales from good ol’ Joe.
Oh, and did you hear about his college football career? Yeah, it’s just as fictional as his other stories. I guess being the real-life Forrest Gump means never letting the truth get in the way of a good yarn. You have to give it to him; the man has some imagination. Or maybe it’s just the senility making him forget what actually happened.
But hey, at least Biden can navigate a room, right? Wrong. Watching him try to exit a stage or work a crowd is like witnessing a five-year-old attempt long-form division. It’s a disaster. Just like his presidency.
In conclusion, Biden’s continuous string of bizarre statements and actions is concerning, to say the least. It’s time for someone to step in and put an end to this circus. We need a president who can actually form coherent thoughts and doesn’t make up stories to fit every situation. Sorry, Joe, but your act is over.
