Staff Reports
In a feat of political acrobatics that would put Cirque du Soleil to shame, Congressional Democrats are suddenly experiencing an extreme case of lockjaw when it comes to criticizing President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign. Apparently, speaking ill of the Commander in Chief is now a bigger faux pas than using plastic straws at a vegan brunch.
Democrats have spun themselves into a tizzy after Biden’s debate performance left them wondering if the Energizer Bunny forgot to replace the batteries. The whispers of dissent turned into full-blown leaks, leaving the party scrambling to hush the murmurs of Biden’s diminishing faculties. Of course, in typical Democrat fashion, the solution wasn’t to address the root cause, but to clamp down on any and all leaks tighter than a drum.
Washington Examiner: Democrats’ willingness to speak out against Biden plummets after embarrassing leaks: Report https://t.co/B1AwTR8IYz
— Ian Hansen 🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@IanHansenFeed) July 10, 2024
A senior House Democrat revealed that the leaky ship has now forced most members to seek an audience with top leaders rather than risking a collective conversation. The trust has been so eroded that it’s reminiscent of a high school drama where everyone is afraid their secrets might end up in the morning announcements. Representative Greg Landsman chimed in, mumbling something about the importance of private discussions, as if privacy hasn’t been bulldozed by their own policies on surveillance and Big Tech censorship.
Group chats among Democrat lawmakers have turned into ghost towns, with no one willing to risk speaking in case their semi-lucid thoughts on Biden’s capability find their way to the press. Meetings have now banned cellphones, making these gatherings sound more like a visit to a classified bunker than a pep talk from leadership.
Despite the Orwellian measures to ensure loyalty, a few Democrats still managed to leak their sanitized impressions to reporters. Rep. Glenn Ivey described a dog-and-pony show where around 30 members paraded their allegiance without sparking any meaningful dialogue.
As the Democrat leadership continues to enact gag orders and paranoia sinks deeper, it’s clear they are more focused on stopping the leaks than addressing the real issues at hand—or rather, at the podium—Joe Biden’s increasingly evident stumble through his presidency. Meanwhile, America watches this political farce, popcorn in hand, waiting for the next act.
