Staff Reports
Democratic Rep. Brian Higgins from New York has decided to leave Congress because he’s sick and tired of the current state of politics. Can you blame him? It’s like trying to find a clean toilet in a porta-potty convention. Higgins, who is 64 years old and has been in office for an eternity, announced his departure during a news conference on Sunday. He’ll be leaving in early February, a whole year before his term officially ends in 2025. Talk about jumping ship before it sinks!
According to Higgins, Congress has turned into a circus where they spend more time twiddling their thumbs than actually getting things done for the American people. And we wonder why nothing ever gets accomplished in Washington! It’s time for some fresh blood, preferably with a pulse.
Representative Brian Higgins has announced he will be resigning from Congress early February. He believes Washington D.C. is at “the beginning of a bad trend,” and “the time is right” for him to return to Buffalo. pic.twitter.com/tkTVenYADl
— Hannah Ferrera (@HannahFerreraTV) November 12, 2023
Now, I know what you’re thinking. How will the departure of Higgins impact the Smithsonian Giant Panda Exhibit? Well, considering that pandas are known for their ability to eat, sleep, and occasionally mate, I don’t think they’ll be too devastated by the loss of one congressman. Let’s focus on the real issue here, folks.
In all seriousness, though, Higgins’ departure is just another example of how disillusioned politicians have become with the way things are going in our nation’s capital. It’s no wonder that so many of them are jumping ship or deciding not to seek reelection. Can you blame them? I wouldn’t want to be stuck in that cesspool either.
But let’s give credit where credit is due. Higgins may have been in Congress for what seems like an eternity, but he did manage to make a positive impact on his community. His biggest accomplishment was securing a $279 million settlement that helped revive Buffalo’s waterfront. Not bad for a guy who just wanted to change his community, huh?
Overall, Higgins’ departure is a sign that it’s time for a change in Washington. We need fresh faces, new ideas, and politicians who actually want to get stuff done. Maybe then we can start making some real progress. Until then, I’ll be here with my popcorn, watching the circus unfold. Stay tuned, folks!
