Staff Reports
In a historic and triumphantly patriotic move, the almighty U.S. Supreme Court just knocked the socks off those pesky liberal strongholds like Colorado and Illinois, paving the way for the legendary return of former President Donald Trump in the 2024 showdown against Sleepy Joe Biden. Oh, what a spectacle this promises to be, folks!
Those snowflakes in Colorado thought they could just play judge and jury, declaring our fearless leader guilty of some made-up “insurrection” charge. Ha! The audacity! But fear not, for Team Trump swiftly appealed and, lo and behold, the highest court in the land shut down those shenanigans faster than you can say “Make America Great Again.”
BREAKING: States may not unilaterally disqualify Donald Trump from the ballot, the Supreme Court rules unanimously..
Only Congress can decide. pic.twitter.com/frmq3pXN0t
— InteractivePolls (@IAPolls2022) March 4, 2024
In a unanimous decision that surely rattled the ivory towers of the left, the Supremes made it crystal clear that only Congress has the power to deem someone unworthy of holding federal office – not some bunch of trigger-happy state officials with a bone to pick. Take that, Democratic busybodies in Illinois and Maine! Trump stays on the ballot, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Our fearless leader, never one to shy away from a victory lap, wasted no time in hailing the decision as a “Big win for America!” on his Truth Social platform. Oh, how the liberals must be gnashing their teeth at the sight of our champion waving the banner of freedom high.
As the justices cogitated over the matter for what must have felt like an eternity to the anti-Trump brigade, Justice Brett Kavanaugh raised some poignant questions about the definition of “insurrection” and who gets to play the judge in such matters. Let me tell you, it’s refreshing to see a man of reason like Kavanaugh standing up for justice and common sense in these trying times.
So, there you have it, folks – a resounding victory for truth, justice, and the American way. Trump 2024 is officially back on the menu, and the liberal tears are the sweetest nectar of all. Keep those MAGA hats ready, because the battle for the soul of this great nation is far from over!
