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Louis Prevost was glued to Newsmax when history hit. The Florida resident’s jaw dropped as breaking news announced his younger brother, Robert Prevost, became Pope Leo XIV — the first American pontiff. “I nearly spilled my coffee,” Louis said. “Last time I checked, he was just my little bro getting tossed down the stairs.”
The Pope’s brother described their blue-collar Chicago upbringing with grit. While Robert played “priest” with Necco wafers, Louis preferred baseball bats and fistfights. “He had the communion bread — I had the Cubs vs. Cardinals rivalry,” Louis chuckled. Their mom’s librarian job and dad’s educator salary built a home where faith and hard work ruled.
Political sparks fly between the brothers. Pope Leo XIV retweeted anti-Trump pieces before his election, while Louis’ Facebook blazes with MAGA memes and border crisis videos. “We’re like CNN vs. Newsmax at Thanksgiving,” Louis joked. But he insists his brother’s no radical leftist: “He’ll bring common sense back to the Vatican — maybe even some American values.”
Louis blasted “coastal elites” for twisting his brother’s message. “These latte-sipping liberals think they own him now,” he fumed. His message to DC swamp creatures? “Stop using my brother to push your Godless policies.” He praised Newsmax for “real reporting” unlike “fake news networks that hate America.”
Family remains their bridge across divides. Louis confirmed the Pope still roots for the White Sox and cracks dad jokes. “He’s got that Bible in one hand, a hot dog in the other — 100% Chicago.” Their late parents’ photo sits on the new Pope’s desk, a reminder of flyover country values.
Critics screech about Louis’ viral Pelosi rant, but he won’t apologize. “I call out evil when I see it,” he said. The Pope hasn’t commented, but Louis claims they’ve got an unspoken deal: “He saves souls, I fight woke mobs.”
America’s fingerprints are all over this papacy. From Bible Belt prayers to Midwest work ethic, Louis says his brother will champion “faith, family, and freedom” worldwide. “Globalists hate that a Pope finally gets the Second Amendment,” he smirked.
As Rome adjusts to baseball caps in the Vatican, Louis keeps flashing his “Pope’s Big Bro” t-shirt. “This proves any American kid can rise up — even if your brother’s a holy roller.” His final words? “Subscribe to Newsmax+. Best $4.99 a patriot ever spent.”
