Staff Reports
In a move that’s raising more eyebrows than an ungraded mystery meat in a school cafeteria, Kamala Harris’s campaign thought it would be a brilliant idea to reel in the Texas crowd with none other than Beyoncé herself. But there must have been a glitch in the matrix because the fans at the event got a concert in their heads only to be let down by a short four-minute speech. Did we mention Beyoncé vanished quicker than cookies at a bake sale after her lofty word recital?
It’s a classic case of promises, promises. The crowd, expecting a concert, ended up disappointed, much to the dismay of the organizers who probably thought they’d pulled off the perfect “gotcha” moment. One’s gotta wonder if this was the plan from the beginning or just a mishap on the world’s fanciest spreadsheet.
Donors probably scratched their heads harder than a puzzled student during a pop-quiz, questioning their life choices and monetary contributions. Add to this cocktail of calamity a viral social media disaster featuring the latest “Trump curse,” suggesting that associating with certain political figures might be costing more than just concert tickets. It seems Beyoncé’s rally appearance is struggling to compete with a Happy Meal, literally.
The ticket drama doesn’t stop there. Prices for concert tours are now making yard sales look like robberies. Fans find themselves being shifted from the cheap seats to the front of the stage to maintain the illusion of a full venue. It’s like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, hoping no one notices the icebergs of unsold tickets floating just beneath the surface.
Across the entertainment horizon, another music superstar, Katy Perry, found herself bobbing in similar waters. Her space-themed show seems to have been teleported to another galaxy, failing to connect with earthbound fans. Maybe the lack of atmosphere out there is contagious. Arenas worldwide seem to be wearing more black tarps than a Halloween party, desperately covering up the emptiness.
All this while, as the headlines scream of celebrity flops and flukes, Donald Trump quietly skates by, meme-handling his way into cultural phenomenon status yet again. With tickets to high-profile shows selling at the same rate as a Mickey-D’s special, one must ponder if there’s a genius plan behind the Trump curse, or if it’s simply fate playing tricks. Either way, one can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe, a McDonald’s Happy Meal would actually be the savvier choice for a night of entertainment.
