Staff Reports
The Democratic National Convention showcased what can only be described as a comedy of errors on its first night, with President Joe Biden stepping onto the stage as both the main event and the punchline. On a night when one would expect a president to inspire and unite, attendees might have been better off watching a rerun of “Home Alone.” The real question is whether America noticed that the leader of the free world was giving yet another classic performance that resembled a delightful mix of a history lecture and a sleep aid.
Biden found himself assigned to the dreaded Monday night slot, a clear indication that even his party recognizes a sinking ship when they see one. To kick things off, the convention wasn’t just showcasing Biden; it offered a parade of far-left politicians that have spent their careers championing policies that would make even Aristotle raise an eyebrow in concern. Alongside Biden was Hillary Clinton, who always seems to reappear like an unwelcome ghost at Halloween, and the star-studded lineup included rambunctious figures like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Georgia’s own Raphael Warnock. It’s worth noting that while the Democratic Party trotted out these hopefuls, the Democrat-aligned media still can’t make any of these faces fit the presidential mantle.
Joe Biden’s brain breaks as the clock strikes midnight and he starts talking about how The Supreme Court said that women aren’t without electrical power. pic.twitter.com/6Ek2QBGjha
— ALX 🇺🇸 (@alx) August 20, 2024
Biden’s speech, if it could be called that, was a smorgasbord of disjointed thoughts and rambling platitudes. He managed to touch on the Supreme Court, women, and some electrical metaphors that made less sense than a high school physics exam question. As if on cue, the tears flowed after his daughter Ashley introduced him, making the whole scene resemble a family reunion gone off the rails more than a political convention. Biden even got a robust round of applause, which, let’s face it, felt more like the audience was celebrating his imminent exit rather than his political acumen.
The standing ovation that lasted longer than most Hollywood award speeches had all the sincerity of a group of friends politely applauding a terrible magician. It echoed a sentiment more akin to “thank goodness he’s leaving” than “what a wonderful president he has been.” People could easily draw parallels to a professional athlete who finally scores a basket after a series of unfortunate misses—relief mixed with sarcasm.
In what can only be described as a bizarre diversion, Biden also chose to took a moment to pander to the pro-Hamas protesters outside the convention. This eyebrow-raising interruption seemed to strike a chord with the same folks who thought it would be a solid idea to burn a few American flags on their lunch break. The deftness with which he tried to address those critics, without actually saying anything of substance, left many wondering if he accidentally slipped into a sitcom during his speech.
To close out the night, he sang praises for Kamala Harris, hinting that picking her was his crowning achievement. This is amusing given that her own approval ratings might be lower than that of a used car from a “buy here, pay here” lot. Biden took a moment to joke about her being vice president, recalling that he once held that position himself—a punchline that could have been cut from the final edit. One couldn’t help but wonder if anyone in the audience felt a twinge of nostalgia for when Biden was just a vice president whose biggest blunders were confined to the vice presidential debates.
As the curtain closed on the first night of the convention, it was clear that Biden managed to deliver a performance no one asked for and many wished to forget. To an audience who looked on with resigned amusement, the applause could have easily transitioned into a chant of “good riddance.” The 2024 election might be a long way off, but if this first night was any indication, it could very well be a comical showdown between a party that appears to have lost sight of what constitutes effective leadership and a nation ready for a change.
