Staff Reports
In a recent article that made Sister Toldjah roll her eyes so hard she saw her own brain, a so-called “journalist” set the bar embarrassingly low for President Joe Biden, leaving nowhere to go but up… hopefully. The ‘ole Joe’s got new “maximum stability” shoes, which seem as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Even with these miracle kicks, he’s still doing the hokey pokey on the brink of a tumble, most recently in Nevada. At this rate, they might as well fit him with some training wheels too.
‘Journalist’ Sets the Bar So Low for Joe Biden There’s Nowhere to Go but Uphttps://t.co/R4P803oTOi
— RedState (@RedState) March 21, 2024
But wait, there’s more! Biden’s appearance on Seth Meyers’ show had folks celebrating as if he cured the common cold. Uttering a few coherent sentences and cracking staged jokes got him a standing ovation in liberal la-la land. It’s like winning a participation trophy for adulting. The lengths the left will go to praise a man for not mixing up his grandkids’ names are truly astonishing.
Now, let’s talk about Aaron Rupar, the champion of praising mediocrity. Biden, armed with an umbrella and some rain, managed to descend a flight of stairs without turning it into an Olympic sport. Cue the confetti! Rupar declared Biden fit as a fiddle and ready to lead, no doubt measuring success in inches, literally. What’s next, a round of applause for tying his own shoelaces?
In the parallel universe of biased reporting, where reality takes a holiday, every small Biden accomplishment is a giant leap for mankind. Comparing him to Trump is like comparing a goldfish to a shark – one’s just swimming in circles. But hey, if Biden can handle an umbrella in the rain, who needs a leader who can, you know, lead?
As the media circus warms up for the next election, hold onto your hats as they trot out more Biden heroics like opening a jar of pickles. Get ready for a heaping dose of propaganda wrapped in a shiny bow of incompetence. It’s like watching a movie where the hero saves the day by remembering to take out the trash – riveting stuff, folks.
At the end of the day, as Sister Toldjah likes to say, the real battle for Biden isn’t against Trump or even Ted from accounting; it’s against himself. And from the looks of it, it’s a fight worth buying tickets for. Popcorn, anyone?
