Staff Reports
The Iowa “Full Grassley” tradition is making a big ol’ splash in the 2024 presidential race, y’all! Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is looking to charm the pants off Iowa voters by completing the Full Grassley, visiting all 99 of the Hawkeye State’s counties as he vies for the GOP nomination. It’s kind of like a game of political whack-a-mole, but instead of moles, it’s rural counties, and instead of a mallet, it’s a campaign bus – ya catch the drift?
DeSantis, a real go-getter, is ready to stampede through the final county this weekend. His spokesperson, Andrew Romeo, was all “rah-rah” about it, tootin’ the DeSantis horn about how no one’s showing the love for Iowa like ol’ Ron. According to Andrew, this Full Grassley thingamajig is a surefire way to woo those caucus-loving Iowans and show ’em you mean business. Giddy up, y’all!
Ron DeSantis bets old-style politicking of shoe leather, handshakes and kissing babies pays off in Iowahttps://t.co/70KZkWHxSF pic.twitter.com/OZB4fejYZD
— The Washington Times (@WashTimes) December 1, 2023
Now, history says completing this down-home adventure can warm Iowa hearts, but it ain’t a crystal ball for winning the whole presidential shebang. But hey, it’s a foot in the door, and that’s half the battle, right?
This hoopla is named after Sen. Charles E. Grassley, who’s been stompin’ through all 99 counties every ding-dang year for the last 43 years – talk about dedication, y’all! He’s 90 years young and still at it, just like those pesky Energizer bunnies. In a 2020 op-ed, Mr. Grassley said even the coronavirus couldn’t hold him back. Now that’s the kind of grit and gumption Iowa folks eat up with a spoon!
There’s been a whole posse of past presidential hopefuls who’ve wrangled the Full Grassley – yep, even Sen. Ted Cruz, former Sen. Rick Santorum, and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee made the trek. They might not have lassoed the nomination, but they made their mark, no doubt about it.
But hold onto your hats, cowboys and cowgirls, ’cause there’s some ruckus over in Iowa! Looks like former President Donald Trump’s taken a swing at DeSantis, calling him an “absentee governor.” Yikes, that’s gonna leave a mark! And then there’s Mr. Santorum’s two cents – he’s on about how doing the Full Grassley isn’t just about chalking up counties like trophies; it’s about showin’ Iowa some genuine lovin’.
Oh, and don’t even get started on Mr. Binkley – he’s already done and dusted the whole 99-county shindig, but he’s polling at zilch and didn’t even snag a spot in the first three debates. But hey, he’s given ‘er all she’s got, and that’s gotta count for somethin’, right?
So, it’s a wild rodeo out in Iowa, and DeSantis is strappin’ on his spurs and hittin’ the trail. Will he rustle up enough votes to wrangle the GOP nomination? Only time will tell, folks! Yeehaw!
