Staff Reports
Drones are hovering over New Jersey like it’s the latest episode of a poorly thought-out sci-fi series, and apparently, the FBI is at a total loss. Yes, more than 3,000 drone sightings have been reported by the well-versed residents of the Garden State in just one month, and lawmakers are scratching their heads wondering just what the devil is going on. Those helicopters with cameras? Nope, just regular folks concerned about their privacy, it seems.
The FBI, under the esteemed guidance of Assistant Director Robert Wheeler, is now appealing to the public for help. Someone please notify the agency that New Jersey isn’t exactly a drone paradise and they don’t need to be getting tips from Facebook groups about neighborhood pets. Drones have been spotted buzzing about not just in New Jersey, but also in New York and Pennsylvania – which is either an ongoing game of state-to-state peekaboo or an ominous sign of nefarious activities that shouldn’t be happening at all.
New Jersey Congressman Jeff Van Drew reveals the SUV sized drones flying overhead in New Jersey are being flown by Iran – who released all of these drones via a Mothership, which is currently at the East Coast of America.
Iran bought this sophisticated technology from China. pic.twitter.com/H5MytuZWhr
— Ole Murica (@OleMurica) December 12, 2024
The sheer fact that Congress is bewildered by the Bureau’s confusion should send chills down the spine of everyday Americans. Representative Tony Gonzales from Texas chimed in, exclaiming the absolute madness of not knowing the source of these surveillance drones. It appears that common sense has taken flight, just like these mysterious aircraft. Meanwhile, Rep. Anthony D’Esposito from New York is calling into question the FBI’s capability to provide answers, suggesting they may want to look into a little thing called “investigative leads.” It’s stunning how a lack of transparency can make government agencies feel untrustworthy, isn’t it?
Perhaps the most eyebrow-raising assertion comes from New Jersey’s own Rep. Jeff Van Drew, who boldly suggested that these drones could be launched from an Iranian “mother ship” lying in wait off the coast. The idea of an “Iranian mother ship” floating around like a sci-fi movie villain certainly raises the stakes. Although it’s hard to argue with someone who claims to possess the inside info, maybe it’s time we acknowledge the generous possibility that these drones could just be hobbyists with a penchant for aerial mischief.
For Governor Phil Murphy, a Democrat, a reassuring “everything’s fine” approach was taken, which has a soothing effect on approximately zero people. After all, Murphy is telling the public there’s no real danger while the FBI’s Wheeler pointedly noted that he doesn’t really know how it all started. Quite the comforting duo, that one. And hey, the American people really love getting told “we don’t know” by folks being paid to know.
The countless sightings have been made across several counties – you know, the usual hot spots like military installations and critical infrastructure. What may be scratching brains more than anything is the realization that, for all their high-tech toys, federal authorities are suddenly incapable of tracking where these dastardly drones are coming from. It’s almost humorous how a trillion-dollar military force can’t seem to take down some flying toy planes. Those diligent taxpayers certainly have a real bang for their buck, don’t they?
