Staff Reports
Vice President Kamala Harris is preparing to accept her party’s nomination for president, and one can only imagine what kind of spectacle this will be. After all, inviting her to speak is like handing the microphone to the class clown during graduation; it’s bound to be awkward and cringe-worthy. The Democrats, who once thrilled audiences with soaring speeches from Barack Obama that stirred the soul, are now left with a candidate whose verbal output often resembles a chaotic blend of garbled nonsense and hollow platitudes.
Harris has made a name for herself on social media, earning the dubious title of “word salad queen.” Each public appearance invites the inevitable, collective facepalm from onlookers. Instead of inspiring communication, her speeches often leave audiences scratching their heads, reminiscent of a math professor stumbling through a lecture on quantum mechanics after forgetting their notes. The Democratic Party has embraced a strategy of hiding her from the limelight, reminiscent of a less-than-stellar movie that nobody wants to see.
THIS is why Comrade Kamala isn’t allowed to speak off script
Holy crap.
Anybody know what the HELL she’s talking about here??! pic.twitter.com/i7nRIRSaJF
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) August 18, 2024
This past Sunday, Harris attempted to motivate young football players in Pennsylvania, an opportunity that would have been better suited for a coach with actual credentials. Her message was about “excellence” and “spirit,” peppered with the kind of vague mumbo jumbo that sounds more like a motivational poster than something a seasoned athlete would find encouraging. Instead of a powerful rallying cry, her speech was a jumbled series of phrases that failed to coalesce into a clear message. The idea that one can be “undefeated” even if they lose every game reeks of the kind of confusing double talk that would make a child’s head spin.
If there’s one thing that Harris demonstrates consistently, it’s an alarming inability to address challenges or provide comfort during tough times. Her attempts to console fans of a college basketball team that just lost ended up sounding like a failed pep talk at a junior high school assembly. If motivational speeches were measured in coherence and clarity, Harris might even make a case for sitting on the sidelines.
In anticipation of the upcoming Democratic National Convention, many wonder if she will ever manage to convey actual policy positions without veering into incoherence. Who could forget the time she inexplicably uttered something about “children of the community” while addressing an audience in Washington? The phrase was so profoundly perplexing that it raised eyebrows instead of applause, leaving one to question if there was any substance at all beneath the glossy surface of her rhetoric.
Throughout the years, presidential speeches have been defined by memorable lines and inspirational calls to action. Think of iconic moments from leaders like John F. Kennedy or Abraham Lincoln. Now imagine trying to compare those to Harris’s latest attempt at profundity, which can be boiled down to conflating the notion of democracy with a vague notion of duality, alongside an overly zealous repetition of phrases that ultimately reveal nothing of substance. The result is an exhibit in verbosity that leaves the American people not enlightened, but confused.
While Democrats might be biting their nails in anticipation of Harris’s big moment on stage, one has to wonder if they’re merely hoping she won’t trip over her own words. The stakes are high, but considering her track record, it seems unlikely she’ll hit a home run. Instead, attendees might find themselves experiencing that familiar cringe as they brace for another speech that promises much but delivers little more than head scratching. Harris remains the premier orator of the Democratic Party—if what they sought was more of a comedy act than a call to arms.
