Staff Reports
In a revelation that could make even Harry Potter jealous, Elon Musk has announced that the federal government is equipped with at least 14 “magic money computers” capable of conjuring cash out of thin air. This stunning claim was made during a riveting episode of the “Verdict” podcast hosted by Sen. Ted Cruz, a Texas Republican who certainly knows a thing or two about keeping it entertaining.
Musk, who now moonlights as the head of the Department of Government Efficiency—because apparently, that’s a thing—described these whimsical machines as any computer that can generate money effortlessly. To him, it’s just a matter of issuing payments, with Cruz solemnly absorbing this groundbreaking information as if he were receiving the secrets of the universe itself. It’s easy to envision Cruz nodding thoughtfully, marveling at the strange magic that fuels the federal coffers.
The duo’s conversation dove into the specifics of these financial sorcery devices, with Musk suggesting that they’re primarily located at various agencies like the Treasury and Health and Human Services, with a handful also lurking in the Pentagon. It’s no wonder that Cruz was eager to goose these startling claims for social media views, as visions of endless taxpayer-funded utopia danced through the heads of many unsuspecting listeners.
Elon's Team Finds 'Magic Money Computers' Used to Create Money 'Out of Thin Air': Are you surprised that these 'magic money machines' exist? https://t.co/URcELi7WOw pic.twitter.com/NerP31Hwhc
— The Western Journal (@WestJournalism) March 18, 2025
Critics, however, appeared puzzled yet amused. Some commentators on social media were quick to point out that Musk’s description of “magic money computers” sounded eerily similar to the principles of Modern Monetary Theory (MMT). Under MMT, the government is essentially given a blank check with the notion that the main limitation to spending is inflation—not insolvency. Naturally, this invites a host of problems since reality tends to rain on fiscal fairy tales like a poorly timed thunderstorm.
Prominent conservative economists like Arthur Laffer and Stephen Moore have swiftly denounced the MMT approach as “obviously silly,” referencing a litany of nations that have tried unsuccessfully to spend their way to prosperity. Their warning echoes the ages: from ancient Rome to modern Venezuela, reckless money printing has led to economic turmoil, not a magical land of milk and honey. Ironically, Laffer and Moore’s logic seems to suggest that these “magic money computers” might just be the ultimate trickster—foiling prudent fiscal policy with their enticing yet perilous charm.
So, could it be that Uncle Sam’s financial strategy can be distilled down to a Star Wars style “may the force be with you” approach—where the force happens to be an infinite supply of dollars? For many, the idea of magic money may not inspire confidence but rather a collective shudder, as they contemplate the true cost of such fanciful thinking on the nation’s stability. Plans built on myth rarely end well, and this one promises to be no different, with every dollar spent becoming a potential future burden on taxpayers.
