admin
A bizarre bit of Americana played out in Ashland, Virginia on November 29 when a raccoon managed to break through a liquor store ceiling, ransack the shelves, and pass out in the bathroom after apparently drinking its fill. The scene — shattered bottles, puddles of liquor and a “masked bandit” asleep on the tile — went viral, exposing the strange intersection of wildlife and everyday small-business losses. This wasn’t just a goofy meme; it was a real loss for a local shop and a reminder that common-sense property protection matters more than social-media punchlines.
Predictably, late-night elites turned the episode into cheap comedy, with Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update sending out Sarah Sherman in a raccoon suit to milk the gag for crude laughs. The sketch traded on slapstick and lowbrow jabs — even recycling a remark tied to a national political figure — all while treating a local, real-world incident like fodder for a woke comedy set. That the cultural class finds time to mock a small community’s odd problem tells you everything about their priorities.
On Newsline, former Naval Intelligence officer John Jordan pushed back, arguing that the animal and the local responders deserved better than derision from late-night comedians. It was refreshing to hear a voice on the right refuse to simply roll over when the cultural gatekeepers trivialize consequences and lampoon ordinary life. Commentary like Jordan’s underscores a larger conservative point: not everything needs to be turned into a political or comedic spectacle.
Let’s be blunt — media elites treating this as a laughingstock while ignoring the cost to a mom-and-pop storefront is emblematic of a broader contempt for everyday Americans’ livelihoods. Conservatives understand that communities deserve respect, not ridicule, and that defending small businesses and local institutions is not a partisan talking point but common-sense stewardship. When the chattering class laughs at the expense of the productive and the local, it’s no wonder trust in cultural institutions has crumbled.
Credit where it’s due: Hanover County animal control handled the situation professionally, recovering the intoxicated animal, giving it time to sober, and returning it to the wild without harm. The humane, practical response from local officers stands in stark contrast to the national media’s reflex to weaponize any silly story for clicks and cheap laughs. That sensible handling is the kind of quiet competence the country needs more of — not another punchline dressed up as highbrow satire.
This episode should be a wake-up call: entertainment elites have every right to be funny, but they don’t have a license to sneer at the folks who keep our towns running. There is dignity in local work, and there is a cost when cultural institutions prioritize viral outrage over reporting or thoughtful commentary. Conservatives will keep calling out that hypocrisy and defending the institutions that actually serve communities.
At the end of the day, a raccoon tore through some liquor and a sketch comedian earned a laugh, but the larger lesson is about respect — for property, for local responders, and for the common-sense values that hold communities together. If anything, let the sober hands of county shelters and practical commentators set the tone: handle problems pragmatically, stop weaponizing every oddity for clicks, and let America get back to valuing work over mockery.
