Staff Reports
In today’s topsy-turvy world, where every cause needs its day, it seems even avocados have demanded their moment in the sun. We can only hope they won’t start unionizing next. Yes, on this confounding calendar of curiosities, there’s a day to honor every fruit, vegetable, and thinly veiled historical nod. Today, our beloved nation—or as it hilariously likes to be called, America—has managed to squeeze in a celebration for National Avocado Day and National Intern Day. It’s perfect for those juggling their guacamole with gratitude for that hardworking coffee-fetcher. But of course, there’s more where that came from.
Take August 9th, for instance. A day most folks blissfully ignore, now dubbed National VEP Day, recognizing the presidential succession plan. Because there’s nothing more reassuring than contemplating a future without your current president. It’s a bit like a birthday card for your stand-in chief, just in case things go awry. But if there’s an award for the most absurd celebration, surely it goes to National Chopsuey Day on August 29th—a dish as authentically Chinese as fortune cookies and General Tso’s chicken. This could only be the brainchild of someone with a skewed sense of cultural geography.
Fast forward to September, and we find ourselves amid the wildly misunderstood National Grateful Patient Day. A day that isn’t particularly amusing but rather a salute to the medical heroes who steer us back to health. This is one occasion where jesting might not get you as far. Nurses, those remarkable individuals who spend their days defying the odds while surgeons calculate their tee times, truly deserve a nod every day, not just on a designated holiday.
September also introduces us to the whimsically titled National Open the Magic Day. A day dedicated to reading picture books out loud, highlighting the joys of storytelling, until you realize some educators might have redefined bedtime stories as bedtime scandals. It’s a tricky business in this day and age, deciding what’s magical and what might get you a stern talking-to by the PTA.
Finally, for all you hop-heads, September 28th marks National Drink Beer Day. If Oktoberfest’s timing leaves you as puzzled as a cat in a fish tank, just embrace the party season a bit early! As the official drink of good times, beer certainly deserves a day of homage. The same, perhaps, cannot be said for National Get Funky Day in October—a holiday that raises more questions than it answers. Celebrated by who-knows-whom, this particular day promises revelry without proper instruction on achieving said ‘funkiness.’ Is it questionable hygiene? Daring dance moves? The mystery remains unsolved.
And so, dear reader, if the parade of peculiarities leaves you yearning for days of simplicity, remember, there’s always the modest avocado—ready to be celebrated, mashed, and eaten without a whiff of pretension. Just don’t forget to thank your intern for the recipe.
