Oh, how the mighty tablets have fallen—not from Mount Sinai, mind you, but from the hallowed halls of our schools. Once upon a simpler time, the Ten Commandments didn’t just hang on the walls of courthouses; they were a staple in classrooms across America, standing guard like moral sentinels overseeing the education of our youth. Today, mention displaying them in schools, and you’re likely to spark a firestorm that’ll have the ACLU racing to court faster than you can say “Moses.”

Let’s face it, our schools have seen better days. Gone are the times when “Thou shalt not steal” was as much a part of the curriculum as reading, writing, and arithmetic. Instead, we’ve graduated to navigating a labyrinth of social experiments and walking on educational eggshells. Bringing back the Ten Commandments could be the reboot our system desperately needs—think of it as a software update for societal ethics.

Nostalgia Isn’t What It Used to Be

Remember when the biggest problem in school was passing notes or maybe the occasional spitball? Now, it’s cyberbullying or worse, cheating scandals that not even the best of soap operas could dream up. Some say the Ten Commandments are outdated, relics of a bygone era. To that, I say: since when did “honor thy father and mother” go out of style? Last I checked, good old-fashioned respect didn’t carry an expiration date.

Moral Compasses: Don’t Leave Home Without Them

Let’s talk practicality because, as we all know, common sense isn’t so common anymore. Imagine a world where “Thou shalt not bear false witness” is back in the classroom. Perhaps then, our future leaders would think twice before spreading rumors or fibting on social media. And let’s not overlook “Thou shalt not kill,” which, beyond its obvious implications, could be a daily reminder of the value of kindness and the sanctity of life.

What About Separation of Church and State?

Ah, the age-old debate that keeps on giving. Critics argue that hanging the Ten Commandments on school walls violates the separation of church and state. But let’s slice through this Gordian knot with a bit of reason. Displaying the Ten Commandments isn’t about converting non-believers or stepping on theological toes; it’s about grounding our kids in a tradition that teaches right from wrong. After all, if we can teach mythology and ancient history, why not the historical and cultural significance of these biblical laws?

In Tablet We Trust

It’s time to tablet up, America. Bring those stone slabs back where they can do some good. In a world where every classroom has an iPad, why not a set of tablets that don’t run out of battery? Who knows—perhaps a little old-school wisdom is just what we need to fix our new-school problems. After all, it’s hard to argue with a document that’s had bestseller status for millennia.