Victory Strikes NYC: Trump Crushes 80% of Court Case!

In a courthouse twist that even Perry Mason couldn’t have scripted, former President Donald Trump declared a big win in his ongoing civil trial in New York City. Beaming as he spoke to reporters on Monday, Trump boasted that about 80% of the case against him would likely be tossed out, all thanks to the judge’s recent remarks.
Trump expertly dissected a key moment in the trial, saying, “That last five minutes was incredible. The judge basically admitted that the statute of limitations we won at the Court of Appeals applies here. So, boom, 80% of this case is done!”
This exciting turn of events comes hot on the heels of Trump’s unsuccessful request to delay the trial just last week. Letitia James, the New York Attorney General, had the audacity to sue Trump, his kids, and the highly respected Trump Organization, alleging that they engaged in some kind of fraudulent activities. They claim Trump made up his net worth by billions of dollars and dragged his innocent children into his supposed scheme.

Despite these preposterous accusations, Trump has been consistently unimpressed with the whole shebang. He’s been griping about not getting a jury trial, a fundamental right he believes every American should have.
“We don’t even get a jury, which is rare in America. It’s really unfair that I don’t have a jury,” Trump lamented. But he did find some solace in the judge’s supposed fairness during the recent proceedings.

To really drive his point home, Trump asked one of his lawyers to chime in on the matter. And boy, did they give some perspective! Trump’s legal team clarified, saying, “Based on the judge’s comments at the end of today’s trial, it seems like he agrees that all the stuff that happened before 2014 is outta this case.” They made sure to highlight that this conveniently accounts for about 80% of the whole shebang.
Trump has really been hammering on the idea that this investigation is politically motivated, even going so far as to call it a “witch hunt.” Earlier today, as he strutted his stuff into the courthouse, he let his Twitter followers know what he thought. “Just arrived at the courthouse to fight a corrupt & racist Attorney General, and a rogue, out of control, Trump-hating judge, who refuses to follow the appellate court decision which knocks out 80% of this sham case,” Trump eloquently tweeted.

At this point, it’s clear that the greatest witch hunt of all time is far from over. And Trump wants everyone to know that his fight against this never-ending saga is actually a fight against election interference! Isn’t that just monumental?

Written by Staff Reports

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