Staff Reports
In an unexpected twist, the WNBA has found itself in the limelight, albeit for reasons it never anticipated or wanted. It seems that during recent games, spectators have taken to tossing neon green dildos onto the courts, creating a stir that has everyone talking. Now, if you’re not giggling a little at the absurdity, then you might be missing out on the lighter side of what’s being dubbed the “Great Dildo Crisis” of the WNBA. With each toss, the games are not so much interrupted as they are transformed into something resembling a very peculiar episode of “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”
Chicago Sky center Elizabeth Williams has called the act “disrespectful,” reflecting the serious undertone beneath the humorous facade that the incidents have created. Players like Indiana Fever’s Sophie Cunningham have issued warnings about the potential danger, tweeting, “Stop throwing dildos on the court… You’re going to hurt one of us.” The argument stretches beyond embarrassment; it’s about the sexualization of the league and, more broadly, women, which is no laughing matter.
The idea of banning bags at games has been floated, although no such policy has been confirmed, leaving critics to wonder whether hollowing out the joke will solve anything. After all, if sneaky pranksters are determined, they have plenty of tricks up their sleeves. What’s next on the list of deterrents: full-body scans reminiscent of airport security, or perhaps pat-downs at the entrance? The mere logistics of enforcing such measures at sports arenas are enough to make one chuckle — a whole lot more effort for a whole lot less in return.
Publication after publication finds the story irresistibly humorous, a head-scratcher that has professional betting markets surrounding when another toss will happen and what color the dildo would be. The whole debacle rings like a giant comedy of errors wrapped in the seriousness of athletic professionalism. The sheer farcicality might even give the WNBA some unexpected attention, if not a new audience drawn in by the chaos—much like stopping for a car crash on the side of the road.
In the blur of bouncing dildos and sporting attempts at damage control, the WNBA inadvertently finds itself at a crossroads. Laugh, and the world laughs with you—even if you’re undeniably the butt of the joke for now. Or double down on decorum and risk being seen as unable to handle a crisis most peculiar. Certainly, it’s not the type of dilemma coaches usually train for, but as the saying goes, the show must go on. Whether viewers tune in for the athleticism or the spectacle is still up for debate, but eyes are certainly glued to the court, waiting to see what happens next.
