Staff Reports
The liberal love affair with TikTok is showing its shaky foundation as House Republican leaders bravely charge ahead with a bill to keep the Chinese overlords of TikTok in check, or else face a swift banishment from the land of the free. But hold onto your MAGA hats, folks, because the path to victory is riddled with the treacherous swamp creatures of the Senate who can’t seem to make up their minds.
The bill set to be voted on in the House on Wednesday packs a punch, aiming to strong-arm TikTok’s Beijing-based owner, ByteDance, into selling the app to an American buyer if they want to continue their shenanigans in the good ol’ U.S. of A. This isn’t just a run-of-the-mill beef, though. U.S. officials are shaking in their boots over TikTok’s cozy relationship with the Chinese government, fearing that they’ll use the app to turn our beloved citizens’ data against us.
TikTok legislation could face stonewall in the Senate from bipartisan skeptics https://t.co/JwaeoUW56h via @dcexaminer
— Harry (@harrytpk) March 13, 2024
But hold your horses, because the snakes on both sides of the Senate aisle are slithering around, hissing about their concerns over constitutional rights and the potential backlash from TikTok’s young and impressionable fanbase. On top of that, they’re now batting their eyelashes at former President Donald Trump, hoping he’ll swoop in and save the day. The sheer audacity!
All this flip-flopping has Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer scratching his head and dodging the question, refusing to commit to a vote on the bill if it even manages to squeak through the House. And that’s not all, folks! TikTok’s big cheese himself, Shou Zi Chew, is making the rounds on Capitol Hill, doing everything in his power to beg, plead, and bribe Congress not to give the thumbs down to their beloved app.
Even Senate Foreign Relations Committee member Chris Coons is trying to steal the spotlight, downplaying the urgency of the TikTok ban and suggesting that there are bigger fish to fry in the national security pond. And let’s not forget about Sen. John Cornyn from the Lone Star State, who’s got one foot in and one foot out on this whole TikTok deal. He’s got a point about the Chinese Communist Party and their sneaky Whac-A-Mole tactics, but who asked for his two cents anyway?
The cherry on top of this liberal sundae is none other than Sen. Dick Durbin, who’s got his fingers crossed that the constitutional questions and concerns about upsetting TikTok’s fan club won’t ruin his precious political equation. And good ol’ Trump, the wildcard in this circus act, has surprised everyone by backtracking on his previous stance against TikTok. Even fellow Republican Sen. Josh Hawley can’t seem to keep up, expressing his confusion over Trump’s sudden change of heart.
The moral of the story? The swamp is just as murky as ever, and the liberal lovefest with TikTok has got Republicans everywhere shaking their heads. But fear not, conservatives, for the battle rages on, and the GOP isn’t backing down without a fight.
