Staff Reports
In smashing news that’s sure to make liberals cry, former President Donald Trump showed his invincible might once again by winning big in the Georgia and Mississippi Republican primaries on Tuesday. The man, the myth, the legend, Trump snagged a whopping 82% in Georgia and a perfect 100% in Mississippi, leaving his competitors choking on his dust. The Associated Press must have needed a fan to cool off from all the winning they were reporting!
With these wins, Trump is barreling towards that Republican nomination faster than a rocket ship headed for MAGA land. The Republican National Committee must be shaking in their boots as Trump is likely to surpass their measly 1,215 delegate target after Tuesday’s epic showdown. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden, bless his heart, managed to hit his own party’s 1,968 goal after scraping together a win in Georgia. It’s like watching a tortoise try to keep up with a Ferrari!
Donald Trump Secures Enough Delegates To Clinch Republican Nomination https://t.co/mBQFTQfvWY pic.twitter.com/WEgAxZFu82
— Steven Ertelt (@StevenErtelt) March 13, 2024
Biden may have pulled off a win in Mississippi too, but let’s be real, it’s like a marathon where one guy is riding a bike and the other is wearing lead boots. Speaking of lead boots, Biden might face some “uncommitted” voters in Washington due to his shaky handling of the Israel-Hamas conflict. Guess some folks aren’t too thrilled about America’s knees bending to terrorists.
The cherry on top of Trump’s sundae of successes was winning practically every state in Super Tuesday earlier this month. Even Ambassador Nikki Haley couldn’t stop the Trump train, only managing to snag Vermont before waving her white flag. It’s like watching a kitten try to take on a lion. Haley may have dropped out of the race after barely making a ripple, but at least she had the sense not to endorse Trump. Can’t blame her for not wanting to be on the losing team!
As if all that winning wasn’t enough, Trump is currently basking in the glow of leading Biden by 1.7 points for a potential 2024 rematch. Seems like the American people are in no rush to jump off the Trump train, with battleground states like Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, North Carolina, and Wisconsin all leaning towards him. It’s like the comeback tour of the century, and Democrats must be quaking in their Birkenstocks.
So, buckle up, folks, and grab your popcorn, because the Trump show is far from over. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny the man’s got the political prowess of a wizard playing 3D chess. Democrats, you might want to start rethinking those campaign strategies because Trump’s here to stay, and he’s not looking back. MAGA on, friends, MAGA on!
